He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
