I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
