i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
