I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
