you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
