At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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