If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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