I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
