dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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