dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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