I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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