Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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