Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
