did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he was CRYING into my vagina
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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