dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize