JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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