I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
