I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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