i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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