What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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