i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
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