The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How external is "for external use only"?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Two words: nipple clamps
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