Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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