If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
