Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize