My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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