im drinking this country out of the recession.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
