My Higher Power is John Stamos
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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