i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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