I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
