Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
there is puke in my bra ... again
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
