TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
