have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
