I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
