walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
