Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
