is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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