C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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