A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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