I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
