Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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