An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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