So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
