there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
