My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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