Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
