Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize