we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You're like the curious george of whores
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
