I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
