Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
