I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
