Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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