It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
