Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
