wat bout pragnant strippers??
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
