he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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