he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Two words: blizzard sex
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
