After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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