you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
