Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
