but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
