When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
