i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
