dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
