I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
