Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize