Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
