So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
