ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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